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Nov. 18th, 2005 | 04:14 am
mood: happy^-^
music: "Hallelujah" Shrek OST
posted by: guardian_yugi in sanzo_hakkai

Title: The Truth Behind the Smile

Pairing(s): 8x3, with implied 5x8

Rating: PG17 for gore

Summary: Sanzo is losing his sanity.

Author Notes: A very sad story.

Genre: Sentimental shounen-ai.

 

The rain beat without mercy against the roof of the inn.  Sanzo sighed.  He looked out over the town... the darkness painting him blue.  He reached for yet another cigarette when a sudden fierce pain wracked his body.  He coughed... again and again he coughed... until he coughed up blood.  He tried to cry for help... no sound came from his mouth.  That was when he heard it.  A voice that was not a voice... and yet it was not the same as when Goku had called him.

Who are you...? Sanzo demanded in his mind.  Why are you doing this to me?

"Sanzo... give me the Maten Sutra and all of your troubles will be over..." came a low voice.  Sanzo looked behind him.  Ah... a simple youkai.  So it was the one responsible from my pain... A wicked grin spread across Sanzo's face.  He spat blood onto the youkai's foot before whipping out his shoureijuu.  "You've caught me on a bad day... so I'll ask you politely ... no.. I won't even go that far."

The blasts of the shoureijuu woke Hakkai... and he sat up in bed, Gojyo's arm slipping off of him.

"Fmmrg..." Gojyo muttered.

"Stay asleep, Gojyo...I'll be back in a moment." Hakkai said softly, reassuring the kappa.

"Grmmh..." Gojyo mumbled.

Hakkai got out of bed and looked to the window... It's raining... and hearing those gunshots isn't a good sign... in his condition... has he... no, not yet... please, not yet... Hakkai thought to himself.  He hurried out of the room and approached Sanzo's.

Blood... why is there always... so much blood...?

Hakkai gaped in horror as he opened the door.  Sanzo had shot a youkai to death... brutally.  He'd loosed all five bullets into the creature... two of them splitting its head apart like a watermelon... the rest riddling its body.  Standing in the middle of the gore was Sanzo himself, grinning like the youkai he'd slaughtered.

"Hello, Hakkai." he said calmly.

"Hello, Sanzo.  You've made quite the mess." Hakkai said cheerfully, regarding the chaos and sizing up the situation.

"I didn't notice... sometimes the filth just piles up..." Sanzo grinned.

"Sanzo, you really should rest... let me clean this up... you're not well." Hakkai said finally, approaching him.  Sanzo backed away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he shouted, covered his face with his bloodied hands.

"Sanzo..." Hakkai said softly, trying to coax him into behaving as a teacher would a shy student.  "It's alright... it's over now."

"It's never over..." Sanzo muttered, walking to his bed and sitting on the end of it.  "So much blood... that thing was like a sack of blood... he just popped... PFF... like that..."

"Sanzo..." Hakkai sighed sadly.  It was a terrible thing to see Sanzo's mind slowly deteriorating... but there was nothing he, Gojyo, or even Goku could do.  Sanzo's inner stress and chaos had begun to overwhelm him... and whether or not they would reach India before his sanity finally gave out was a game chance.  "Please try to hang on."

"To what, Hakkai?  It's all out of reach." Sanzo snapped.

"What is out of reach, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, upon cleaning up the gore by vaporizing it with concentrated ki.  He walked towards Sanzo and sat next to him on the bed.  "Tell me."

"Can't tell you... can't tell anyone... no one understands..." Sanzo maintained.  Hakkai felt his heart break slightly... he hated seeing Sanzo like this... when before, he'd been so strong.  He had to get him back... somehow...

"Please, Sanzo.  Tell me... I'll try to-" Hakkai started but suddenly, Sanzo had grasped his hand tightly.  "Sanzo?"

Sanzo said nothing.  He stared straight ahead into the darkness... not looking at Hakkai... just holding his hand... tightly.  Anchored in reality by this hand and nothing else.  He held tightly.  As long as he had this hand to hold, he would remain.  Hakkai smiled and tightened his grip in response, placing his other hand over Sanzo's.

"I don't know what to do... I'm losing my mind.  I can't seem to keep it intact... the way it was before." Sanzo sighed shakily.

"It's alright..." Hakkai reassured him.  "You're strong, Sanzo.  We both know this."

"Being strong isn't enough... I have to... ghnnaagh..." Sanzo made an odd noise... it was one Hakkai had heard him make before when his headaches grew unbearable... now he knew it simply meant Sanzo's mind itself was in agony.  His motherly instincts took over upon hearing this sound... and he drew Sanzo into an embrace.  He rested Sanzo's head on his shoulder and rubbed his back.  Uncharacteristic of him, yes... but not if it involved comforting a child... and Sanzo was regressing further and further each day.  Soon enough, there would be nothing left of him... nothing left at all.

"Hakkai..." Sanzo breathed, tears burning down his face and lighting upon Hakkai's skin.

"Yes Sanzo?" Hakkai asked gently, his own eyes filling with tears as well.

"Don't let me go..." Sanzo ordered, burying his face in Hakkai's shoulder.

"I won't." Hakkai obeyed, and tightened his grip.

As long as I have this hand to hold... I will remain...

~owari

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Comments {17}

Ariel Kaufman

(no subject)

from: hatake_iruka
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
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x-X oh god, why am i just getting around to reading this?

It's absolutely astounding. Better then most fanfics i've read in a long time. You brought out alot of reasons why i like this couple so much. The need to have something to hold onto while going against all you were taught to do as a child. Absolutely wonderful. I ask for more, but only if it doesn't interfear with your scheduel of course. ^-^ keep writing!

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 04:09 am (UTC)
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You make me really happy. ^^ I'm a strict Sanzo/Goku Gojyo/Hakkai fan, but when I get a challenge, I respect it. I love writing and keeping people character... although I push it by adding things like insanity to bend that usual rule. Anywho, any requests?

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 04:11 am (UTC)
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keeping people in character**

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Ariel Kaufman

(no subject)

from: hatake_iruka
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
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how odd ^-^; we seem to be a bit on the opposites, i lean towards Hakkai/Sanzo and Gojyo/Goku. I do like some Gojyo/Hakkai but i cant really seem to stand Sanzo/Goku for some reason =/ dont know why either.

But anyways, if you kept on writing more Hakkai/Sanzo things i'd be a very, very happy camper ^_^
Thanks!~

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 06:56 am (UTC)
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I could always continue this one if you want... or, and I prefer this, you could throw me a plot device.

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Ariel Kaufman

(no subject)

from: hatake_iruka
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 07:03 am (UTC)
Link

hm...i'll keep on thinking for one, and it should come up soonish since i'm forcing a friend of mine to watch the series with me ((Her times watching it: one. my times watching:6 and counting))
I've been going through a bit of writer's block myself, i suppose that's the reason i haven't finished my third chapter on my fic x-X;

I'll keep on thinkin though. and i'll be sure to let you know when i come up with something. you really do have a great style!

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Ariel Kaufman

(no subject)

from: hatake_iruka
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
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forth chapter**

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Mar. 9th, 2006 07:29 am (UTC)
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*waiting with bated breath!*

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Kato

(no subject)

from: sanzo_chama
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:05 am (UTC)
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0.0

*stunned silent from the pretty writing*

Nice. Very nice.

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:07 am (UTC)
Link

Hey wow! Thanks! I figured this story'd been left behind. I write others too. Please check out my work on fanfiction.net

I'm WhiteAsh

I highly recommend the Burial of Kouryuu.

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Kato

(no subject)

from: sanzo_chama
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:12 am (UTC)
Link

Okay!
And, no prob. Also, I've seen a lil of your stuff on youtube. Who d'ya think PetetheDementor/Snapelicious was refering to, hm? XD
*runs off to go see*

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:15 am (UTC)
Link

Have you joined ask_the_ikkou yet? Also, do you like my AMVs?

It's so nice having fans! ^_^

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Kato

(no subject)

from: sanzo_chama
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
Link

Actually, I've only seen bits and pieces...*REALLY needs a faster connection* Sorry...

And, no, I haven't, but I do keep up with what's going on. I think it would just be too awkward...*points to username*

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guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:44 am (UTC)
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It wouldn't be awkward at all. We get all kinds. golden_sanzo, renegade_sanzo. You'll fit right in.

Though I do love the fact you've picked up on the cham, chan sama, thingy as well. ^_^

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Kato

(no subject)

from: sanzo_chama
date: Jun. 4th, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
Link

Um...okay?

And, again...*nervous chuckle* Thank Snape.

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(Deleted comment)

guardian_yugi

(no subject)

from: guardian_yugi
date: Jun. 16th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC)
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Indeed! Thanks for reading it!

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wantmore83

(no subject)

from: sano_fujitezu
date: Dec. 29th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
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Wow... its very disturbing to see Sanzo losing his mind. Thankfully Hakkai is there to be the rock that he could hold onto. Thank you for a wonderful fic :)

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